The Internet Junkie V3.0

Internet Junkie – (noun) An unusual form of life which resides within the complex arteries of technology known as the Internet. Known to be dangerous at times, it is recommended to avoid contact when possible. Feeds little, sleeps less.

This is the homepage of one Andrew Cowan, hailing originally from Smithtown, NY then Ridgefield, CT (where I spent the majority of my HS years and graduated with the class of 1987), and most recently from N. Carolina. You have probably ended up here by mistake, its not too late to turn around! If you truly meant to arrive here please read on!

On December 6th, 2003 at 4:49pm my wonderful (amazing) wife Suzanne and I were blessed with the birth of our little angel, Abby. The 6th was already planned for, it was to be my wife’s baby shower and she was excited to spend time with her friends and discuss the awaited special day, but at 5:30 am little Abby decided enough was enough, it was time to meet the two voices she had been hearing for so long (and one of which had been singing evening lullabies very badly to her). So it was that Abby was born, 3 weeks premature and weighing in at a whopping 4lbs 15oz at birth – but dont let her little size fool you, she is a mighty might and in one short week has learned to master control of her mommy and daddy. Here are some pictures.

(What follows is my sorely out-of-date webpage, who has time to keep such things up-to-date?)


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For those of you who know me you might be thinking ‘whatever happened to that weird Andy guy?’. There is no easy answer to this question and I’m not really sure what happened! When I am not in therapy for my ‘net’ addiction I am strapped into a chair and chained to my Linux box(es). When I am not doing that I am generally unconscious or putting just enough food into my body to keep life support flowing. I used to think I was actually 57% virtual, my therapist tells me a better estimate would be 98.2141529%, as you can see I am losing this battle!

I firmly believe that a social life is not necessary, in fact I am still alive and have not had one for about 6 years. The closest thing I have to social interaction is my wife Suzanne (we were married in 1997 at an old Castle in N. Carolina). Sue enjoys dabbling with the creative arts and tending to her many gardens and is a bigtime reader of books. In fact, we had to build her a library in our new home just to provide ample walking space! [last count put her collection at about 5,000 titles]

My education took a turn into the obscure during my Undergraduate years. Who would have known Capitalism could be so fun? *smirk* I was lucky to discover quickly that a life of studying or applying Economics was not for me.

It was during the year of my graduation with a BA in Economics that I stumbled upon a businss publication whose title suggested that many Economists would soon be looking for jobs. Q: Why did the economist starve to death after being fired from his job for failing to predict the stock market crash? A: He was too busy assuming he was employed.

I turned my head towards Mathematics and Computer Science. Trust me when I say Math Can Be Fun, just make sure you have the following handy at all times:

  • 3 bottles of tylenol (prescription strength if possible)
  • A hankerchief (to wipe the tears from your eyes)
  • A straightjacket (just in case your instructor gets snotty)
  • Enough lunch for 2 weeks (you may not see the need until you begin your thesis research)
  • NyQuil (To help kill those horrid nightmares of failure)

I completed my Master of Arts degree in Mathematical Sciences / Computer Science at the University of N. Carolina at Greensboro in 1997.

It has recently been proven to me that all bad things you do will eventually come back to haunt you. Case in point, I taught intermediate and college algebra at Uncg for 4 semesters. If you happen to be one of my old high school instructors then right now you are probably laughing at me – I will make it easy for you (I was an awful student and I am DEEPLY sorry for any trauma I caused)

mailbox-7557607 The Internet Junkie is Copyright © 1995 – 2004 Andrew Cowan.


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